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Aaminah Zaib
01 December 2008 @ 08:52 pm
I am a loyal B&BW customer and I love your products to no end.  However, I have been severely disappointed in my last two poofy bath scrubbies that I purchased. 

The little string thing that you use to hang up the poof always comes unfastened and just ends up hanging lifelessly.  :( 

The poof is still good, but I cannot hang it up anymore.  :(  :(  :(  

I have taken to buying poofs at the Dollar Store despite their scratchiness.  The hanging thingy (on the DG poofs) just last longer and hangability is super important to me. 

Y'all should fix that little product malfunction.
Aaminah Zaib
20 November 2008 @ 01:32 pm
So, I am playing hooky today and just finished watching The Universe. It was the best one that I have ever seen!! It was about parallel universes and I am so fascinated and enthralled. I have thought about these things in the past, but not really ever sat and pondered it. The Universe is great because the astronomers and astrophysicists explain things to you so well that they actually make sense - even though they are mind blowing. They were discussing the different levels of parallel universes that are being theorized and I have to say that every single one made perfect sense. I really liked listening to the whole M Theory explanation. I think that I fully grasp it, but may fall a little short here. So basically, our universe is possibly flat and is tethered to this huge membrane that undulates in hyperspace and next to that huge membrane is another huge membrane to which another universe could be attached and so on. And the membranes are multi-dimensional. So, in these other universes are most likely exact replicas of our world and of ourselves down to the most minute of details and whatever is possible in this realm has or will happen in one of the others. So, in some other parallel universe, I am actually the president or I am rich or I am a paid assassin or a spy! How exciting. How amazing. I hope that when we die, we get to somehow cross over to these other places and even if we can't take with us all of the awareness of this existence, I hope that we can take at least a little bit of the memory of this life so we know what we were and we have something to compare our new existence to. Maybe that really is what happens when you die and God is an astrophysicist and beyond is even more and more.

I was texting back and forth with Robert about this and he mentioned how some of these theories frighten people. I commented back that I simply didn't understand. There's nothing to be afraid of, but he said that it takes us and God out of the driver's seat and then, there is just nothingness after. Even if there only is nothingness after, I find nothingness far less horrifying than the prospect of eternal damnation, torture and hellfire. If there is only nothingness, then when you die, you will be nothing or a part of the nothing and you will never know that you are nothing nor will you ever know that ever were anything. Why is that frightening? You will not be aware and therefore there is nothing to know and nothing to fear.

I believe that in some manner or other, we do go on. Maybe we are just recycled back into the stars. Like Carl Sagan said (and Robert always quotes :) "We are all one species. We are made of starstuff".

Hope I didn't misquote you there Carl. Fascinating stuff. I hope to experience it for myself one day. I can say that until I forget, I will be looking at the world in a different way.

Thanks Michu Kaku and Alexi Filipenko (aka The Happy Astronomer). :)
Current Location: home
Current Mood: enthralledenthralled
Aaminah Zaib
20 November 2008 @ 08:57 am
Why the hell would someone interrupt me to bring me someone else’s fax!!??? WHY!!??

I am sitting here working and one of my coworkers comes into my office with a big fax for “DANA and ALEX”.

My name is “MALISSA”. M-A-L-I-S-S-A.

Coworker: Here’s a bunch of screening forms

Me: Yeah?

Coworker: They’re screening forms.

Me: Uh. OK. Who were they addressed to?

Coworker: Alex and Dana.

Me: OK.

Coworker: Here.

Coworker thrusts stack of papers at me. I am not a secretary, mind you. I manage a department that has nothing to do with distributing incoming faxes to other employees.

Me: Uh, I would recommend putting them back on the fax so that the people to whom they were addressed could pick them up. I would go so far as to email them to let them know they arrived – or (this next part is internal monologue) and this is just my crazy way of thinking here – maybe you could actually hand-deliver them to those people instead of trying to give them to me – a person who has nothing to do with this scenario whatsoever. Or, maybe you could just not pick up shit that doesn't belong to you and stop wasting my time and your own.

WTF!??!?? If you want to waste your own time delivering other people’s shit to them instead of just letting their stuff alone, by all means, but don’t come and interrupt and inconvenience me because you are too stupid to place things that don’t belong to you in the pick-up box directly above the fax machine.

FUCK! I hate stupid people!
Current Location: home now
Current Mood: grumpygrumpy
Current Music: The Office reruns
Aaminah Zaib
16 November 2008 @ 11:44 pm
FINALLY - we are experiencing some autumn weather. :) It makes me all happy and warm inside. Right now, we have no heat as our thermostat is broken, but I still feel toasty and comfy curled up in our little house.

Thank God we live in Florida where it doesn't get too insanely cold. It's cold for Florida right now, however. But, I am sitting inside on our broken futon under a warm down comforter, candle burning, watching the Wizard of Oz and feeling quite content and pleased with myself. I feel super accomplished right now. My accomplishments were all domestic shit - nothing spectacular, but I don't care. I feel pleased with me right now. The house is clean, most of the laundry done, I made delicious brownies and peanut butter cookies, had some friends (that I don't see much of, sadly) over for dinner and some games yesterday, visited another wonderful friend today, made chicken cacciatore that has now turned into more of a Creole-type dish as it marinates in our fridge for dinner on Tuesday, and as I type this - I have French roast beef cooking ever so slowly in the crock pot overnight. I also ran 4.4 of my 5 mile circuit tonight. Normally, I run 1.5, walk .5, run 1.5 and so on. But tonight, the only walking done was the warm-up walk down and the cool-down walk home, which is .3 miles each way. I ran the entire time otherwise and I haven't done that to date. It was cold, so that helped. I had to run to stay warm and without the oppressive white Florida sun beating down on your head and the stifling humidity suffocating you and making you sweat like a fat guy in a sauna, I had tons of energy and didn't feel sluggish at all. I had also eaten two brownies and drank a big old glass of milk right before the run so I was pretty zippy and motivated. I hardly ever eat sugar and with this little baking kick that I have been on, I don't know what to do with myself when experiencing a sugar rush. I'll have to start downing a brownie before a run from now on. I guess that kind of defeats the purpose, but to hell with it. They taste too good to avoid and if you don't workout to treat yourself - what's the point!?

I have been pouring through recipe books for new things to try and am becoming addicted, I think. I love cooking and am dying to find a gourmet club. They have them on meetup and after the holidays, I am thinking of joining one. The problem that I saw last time was that so many of the events were far away, but maybe I just need to look more for something more local.

Well, back to work tomorrow, but I don't even mind. I am that content right now. This is the last long week before the first nice long holiday weekend of the season and maybe I will take some cookies into my coworkers to make them smile. :)
Current Location: in the futon hole
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: OH WE LOVE THE OLD ONE!
Aaminah Zaib
14 November 2008 @ 03:21 pm
I don’t always feel like people are telling me the truth.

Well, I think that is an overstatement.

I think that what they are telling me is true, but they are leaving out key parts that would (of course) put a whole new spin on things. You know?

It’s like when someone says, “I went to the store today”.

Oh. Well, that’s nice.

However what they neglected to say is, “I went to the store today and beat up six old ladies and stole a few thousand dollars worth of goods and bought all kinds of drugs and got high and gambled at the dog track, had sex with a prostitute, and then, went home”.

Now while that seems like a ton of fun to me, there’s a big difference.

I think sometimes, people underestimate me and think that I am less intelligent or that I am some drooling idiot incapable of abstract thought.

I am, by no means, a genius, but I am smarter than I look. At least, I like to think so. I have figured out some sh!t that people don’t know that I know – still don’t and probably won’t.

Anyway. That’s all I have to say about that.
Current Location: Work
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
Current Music: Random Radio
Aaminah Zaib
11 November 2008 @ 03:25 pm
You ever find yourself talking to someone and you know damn well that they are just being quiet because they are waiting to start speaking? They really aren't listening to you. They are just thinking of what they want to say next and trying to feign politeness by being quiet for a bit. I hate that, but I guess it is better than someone just interrupting you and taling over you.

We pick our battles, I suppose.
Current Location: At Work
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: Depeche Mode, "I Feel Loved"
Aaminah Zaib
09 November 2008 @ 09:34 pm
I think that I have a tapeworm. I am constantly fucking hungry, it seems. Right now, the beast within is actually satisfied because I ate a plate of spaghetti and like 4 peanut butter cookies today, along with a boca burger and some eggs this am. Oh, yeah and countless baby carrots, some dark chocolate, turkey bacon, and I don't even know how many "tastes" of spaghetti sauce as I cooked it. Thank God I took up running or there'd be hell to pay. Running has been so helpful in so many ways. It hasn't helped me quit smoking yet, although it has certainly helped to curtail it - at least when I am not drinking. I smoke like a fucking chimney when I am drinking and feel like hammered shit the day after. Duh. It helped me to cut my drinking down because running with a hangover sucks. Again, it hasn't helped me stop altogether simply because I am weak and have far too many vices but when I am running, I think, "Well, if I go another mile, then that is less time that I can spend doing things that are bad for me". When I do finish, I feel good - usually too good to fuck it up with poisoning myself - although sometimes I do use running as a means to an end. I will go extra miles if I am planning to go out drinking so I don't have to worry about the mass of liquid calories that I plan on consuming. So, it doesn't always work to my benefit, but for the most part it does. Sometimes, it enables me to do MORE of the things that are bad for me (earning calories for drinking), but guess you gotta take the good with the bad. I am a lot stronger now and I was amazed at how it seemed that the strength came overnight. I was pushing it, having a hard time, hating it and struggling constantly, but the past few times that I went out - I was able to go without much trouble. It was as if I instantly grew stamina and strength. It's weird how improvement comes like a flash out of nowhere. Whee. I was super duper pleased with this, needless to say. People out there piss me off though. The people that insist on walking 3 across on the sidewalk and refuse to fall into single file so you can pass are prime examples of such annoyances. I don't expect any special treatment or anything, but fuck, just let me pass as I would let you pass. Old people get a free pass on this. I don't care if I have to step off the sidewalk and run through a moat of dog shit if they don't feel like moving. They're old. They deserve to be stubborn and take up all of the room. They aren't usually the culprits thought. The culprits are normally teenagers (especially HS running teams), breeders with their huge tractor-trailer sized baby carriages and their spawn running all over in what appears to be a crack-induced frenzy and crazy dog people with like 4 and 5 dogs lunging and snapping and barking all over the place. Take your dog for a walk, yes, but keep them off of me. Some asshole had his big pit down there and let her off her lead. #1 - It's illegal #2 - The dog chased me down and jumped all over me. This was in play and I have no problem with that other than the fact that the dog almost knocked me down and it fucked up my run for a split second. No big deal. However, what I do have a problem with is there are so many rich, uptight soccer moms down there and had that dog jumped on one of their precious little shitmonsters, said soccer mom would have thrown a fit and the dog may have ended up paying for it. I like dogs, don't get me wrong. I am just not a dog person myself but I like other people's dogs. I just think that dog owners need to practice a little caution in public places so that their animals don't pay for the owner's lack of responsibility.

Anyway, sometimes, I will play chicken with the sidewalk hogs and refuse to move, too. I usually end up slightly shoulder-checking them as I pass and they (at the last minute) half-ass move aside so I can pass. Like I said, HS running teams are the worst. They are like a formidable force coming right at you and they are young and cocky and seem to think that you should move for them. I have (more than once) thought of making a comment to their coach, but I have to run there and I don't want 'tude from a bunch of arrogant little bastards on a regular basis. Besides, I have realized that opening my mouth when things are pissing me off (even if I am validated in my pissiness) doesn't do anything except cause more problems for ME. So, my best option is random passive-aggressiveness. It's kind of futile, but it makes me feel better.

Yesterday was a really super good day. Eve and I went for a nice ride on the big loop at Flatwoods and logged 16.7 miles on our mountain bikes. After that, it was home, shower and off to the 'rents for delicious dinner consisting of my mother's insanely wonderful crackish mashed potatoes, some crack carrots in brown sugar and butter and roast. I also had some weird fruity jello shit with cool whip on top and that was surprisingly divine. Jello with fruit in it had always freaked me out, but it was blackberry jello and I had to try it. Then, we went grocery shopping, which I weirdly love doing. I think that I like to shop for anything. I took a virginal stab at baking - made peanut butter cookies only to realize that I had no baking powder. Robert went out at like 11PM on a Saturday night - looking for baking powder at local convenience stores, but it seems that all any of those stores stocked was baking soda and they kept trying to convince Robert that was what he was looking for. I later learned out that baking soda is used to make drugs, which is apparently why it is so prevalent in 24-hour convenience stores. I may sound naive, but fuck - I never made drugs. I just mooched them off of friends who had them back in the day. So, I had no clue and it has been so long since I have engaged in any of that shit, that I don't know what's what in the world of recreational drug use. That's a good thing though.

I am sad that tomorrow is Monday. I don't want to go to work. However, I am going to Sisters of Mercy tomorrow night. Damn, I am old.
Current Location: in the futon hole
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: some pbs stuff about the dark ages
Aaminah Zaib
02 November 2008 @ 06:45 pm
I can never remember to write even though I think that I should write in here more often. I just forget or think that whatever I have to say sounds unimportant or contrived or something. You know? Things have been good for me lately other than my own stupid self-inflicted drama and shame but that is another story. I've been getting stronger from running and two weeks ago, rode my first black diamond trail with Lou from SWAMPs. It was great because I was new to being back on the trails and I wasn't sure what my level would be, so I rode the lowest group, but no one else was riding in that group except me and the guide. So, I got my own private guide! Eventually, I'd like to become a ride guide myself. We'll see what happens on that. This year is almost over and 2009 is rapidly approaching. I am going to try to volunteer more of my time and do some things for worthy causes and stop being so spoiled and self-centered. I am kind of a shit sometimes and I don't think that I am a very good friend/girlfriend/daughter at times. I have been making efforts to try harder at work and not be such a slacker and that seems to be going well.

I feel kinda worried and shitty that I may have lost a friend last night because I didn't go to a party I had said I would as some friends showed up at our place and we decided to hang here. I had invited multiple people to our house on Saturday and wasn't sure one way or another if anyone was coming, but was looking forward to just staying home and having company. I get confused when people are upset with me for changing plans. I guess that it does make me unreliable, but sometimes, circumstances arise and then, sometimes you just suddenly don't feel like going. I seriously don't ever care if my friends bail on me or change plans. I mean, if you don't feel like doing something, then you simply don't feel like it and that can happen out of the blue. So, if I have plans with someone and they tell me they aren't up to it, I am fine with that because I get that way myself. I can understand if it is something super duper important - like a road trip together or you are taking them to their surgery appointment or something like that. Anyway, I hope I didn't lose a friend over not going, but I guess if I did, then I did. I feel better when I ramble on about things over which I am obsessing and being paranoid about. I hate the paranoid side of myself. I wish that I could control it and I wish that I could just accept things as they are. I don't know why I have to be so obsessive. I did send an email apologizing for the fact that I didn't go.

I opened my mouth over this woman being verbally abusive and pushy to an old lady in Starbucks today and that ruined a lot of the day. It upset me far more than it should have, I guess, but I was incenses and distressed and it made me cry. The woman just got completely ghetto on me and started yelling and name calling. I just said that she was ignorant and asked her if she just came from church. What really bothered me is that they still served her at Starbucks. It was disgusting. Anyway, I will never ever patronize a Starbucks again. I was really horrifying. I don't want to go on about it because it is over, but sometimes, I am so dismayed at how horrible people are to each other. :(

I hope that I can stick to some of the things that I have recognized are bad with me and that I can actually make some changes. I just wish that could be a better person.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Aaminah Zaib
11 October 2008 @ 05:40 pm
It's been a horrible weekend thus far and going on two weekends in a row that fit that recipe. Ugh. My life is a complete and utter disaster right now. I am completely fucking up at work, which is where I am right now foolishly thinking that I would be able to accomplish anything at all. My personal life is a mess and I don't think that I maintain good relationships with anyone. I let my dad down on his birthday dinner tonight and I feel like shit about it. I stink of balsamic vinegar and stale beer. I have what is either dried blood or wine in my hair. My head hurts. I have knots on my temples because I am an idiot. I feel bruised, beaten and broken right now. However, I am going to tear myself away from these ridiculous little Facebook application games that are oh-so addicting, walk home, take a shower, put on clothes that are not marinated in vinegar and booze, go to the store and get the fixins for chili dogs, go home, make said chili dogs, completely veg out in front of the television watching mindless garbage and drink crack zero. I think that I will borrow a work laptop so I can work from home tomorrow. If I get some things accomplished, I will feel so much better coming in on Monday and Monday is a new day, a new week and hopefully, I will be able to force myself to focus and commit myself to productivity. Tomorrow, I am going to take a swim and hopefully get my bike fixed, although I did not remember to go and get a can of sealant for my flattened tire. Crap. I may have to do that Monday. Eve, if you read this, tell Commander D that I will be over on Monday with the sealant and to make good on my truck washing promise.

I'm off to wash the filth away and hopefully, regain a little of my self-respect.
Current Location: Work
Current Mood: morosemorose
Current Music: Humming
Aaminah Zaib
09 October 2008 @ 10:49 am
I am a slacker. I never write in my journal. I just hate looking at these things when I am not at work. I have nothing to say anyway. :P I am boring. Maybe I will try another time. Right now, someone is talking to me about computer sales and I could care less. How can I show my disinterest anymore than I am. I don't stop typing. I don't feign interest and I just go, "Yeah", "Ah", "Heh", "Wow" with no relevancy to what is being said. I don't understand why people can't take the hint that you don't care what they have to say and/or are busy with something else. Leave me alone.

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Current Location: Work
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Current Music: Something Lame